Confession... I've Dealt with Body Dysmorphia Most of My Life!

Today’s Adventures of #JustJacQuaye...

Confession… I’ve suffered from body dysmorphia for decades!

When I was 140, a size 10, slim in all the right places and thick where it counted, I’d look in the mirror every single day and think I was fat! #BodyDysmorphia

After gaining 60 pounds during my first high-risk pregnancy and getting down to 170 (in which I almost died from childbirth and had a six-month grueling recovery process that included a month long stay in the hospital), I was even fatter AND my stomach was nasty AND my breasts were saggy. #BodyDysmorphia

I realized recently that years of molestation as a child brought about severe body shaming and an incredible lack of self-worth. That set me up to accept almost two decades of bondage with the men that I entrusted my heart, mind and body to (folks I actually called husbands 🙄, who made sure to tell me regularly that I was fat, ugly, undesirable and how they could have any other woman of their choosing (and did have other women). My confidence was shot, most of my inner-being was crushed, my spirit had been depleted and by this time, the body dysmorphia had multiplied severely. #BodyDysmorphia

Until recently (like, two months ago), I literally looked in the mirror EVERY SINGLE DAY, since I was a child, and even thought how ugly my face was... on top of how I viewed my body as fat. I'm talking about a terrible case of #BodyDysmorphia!

Fast forward to now…

Now that I weigh... welp, that ain’t noneovyabusiness 😂, but I weigh even more… I can say that I am in such a better place. I’m no longer in bondage as I once was; I can call out and identify my “isms” and tackle them day-by-day! I have been on a self-guided journey for a couple years now; I'm back to discovering the new and improved me! The me God always desired for me to see, acknowledge and be!

I am definitely a work in progress, but I am so glad to be in this place. I say all that to say, it’s never too late to appreciate yourself!

Here’s to the baddie spirit that God has ordained for you to walk in 😁! Be that bad-maam-ma-jamma; Bad enough to slay giants, to make demons tremble, to call down Heaven for those who need your prayer and energy, to mentor and witness to those who need your story of triumph and victory, and to exude that inner-sexy diva that makes the all the menz mouth's drop 😛!

As for me, Imma serve these cheekbones boo and I'm gon be a-ok with this here fluff! And I'm keeping in mind that I have the power to modify what I don’t like, as do you! My #KetoMinistry coming back in 2022 cause sis gotta get ready for this fall boudoir shoot 🙌🏾😉 #NewReasonToLoseWeight ... Last year it was Vegas, this year it's that lol! I was ca-ute today!

#JustJacQuaye

#JusJacQ

#InnerThoughts

#OutwardExpression

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